If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. That’s the old adage, right? I sure live for the days where manners meant something- or at the very least- when others were more discreet about their gossip. Social Media has become a platform of self expression, which I love (obviously, since it is a huge part of my life & work). But to some degree, I despise it because it is abused. It’s become something to hide behind where people think they can say whatever they darn well please - not aware of or not caring who’s on the other side of that screen. Words are just as powerful as they’ve always been, if not more. The tongue is quite the double-edged sword.
I’m speaking for the girl on the other side of the computer screen. The girl you may not know or the girl you may know well. I’m not an object, i’m not a mannequin or a fictitious image on a screen. Neither are the other girls that model with me or that girl you knew from high-school that you vaguely know through Facebook or the stranger you secretly judge with your eyes as you are walking through the mall. They are all real people. They are mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts. They love, they hurt, they laugh, they cry. I’ve received comments on my work’s social media pages that are negative, critical and some are just plain out nasty & uncalled for. It’s disheartening and hurtful. It saddens me that women are most critical on themselves and other women- continuously fighting against each other it seems- when really what we need to do is fight for each other. I have had ladies throw around the word anorexic and tell me that I need to go eat a sandwich. I draw the line there. Anorexia is a serious disease that many people struggle with or have struggled with. Who do you think you are to throw around such a weighty word? It angers me that people have no regard. (and whoever you are out there- if you ever happen to read this… I prefer pizza over sandwiches)
I know, I’ve gotten it my whole life- you wouldn’t understand because your skinny. Oh, if I had a penny for every time I heard that. Yes, I am naturally skinny. God made my metabolism higher than some. I might have it easy on that front, but goodness it just gets old hearing it. I’ve never had to struggle with keeping off weight. I get that I cannot directly relate. I haven’t had children yet & I don’t know the struggle of a post-baby body. I’ve watched, consoled, prayed for & cried with family & friends that have had these & other struggles. They have also done the same for me with my wavering self-image & problems with severe acne or the scars I carry now. I just wish we would all realize that we all are imperfect & we all have struggles- whether physical or not. Where are our hearts? I have to ask myself that question more than I would like.
It makes me chuckle when I think about the PC society we live in & it’s inconsistencies on what’s appropriate to talk about & what’s not. ‘Real women have curves’- why yes they do. Real women also don’t have any curves at all. Real women can be naturally skinny. Real women can be flat-chested or bountifully blessed… you get the picture. I get it- I really do. The ‘real women have curves’ campaign is a fight against this image of what our society has created of the ideal women. I don’t like it either. Yes, they are most of the time photoshopped, cropped, tucked, enhanced, tanned, et cetera- but let’s be honest on what a real woman is. The definition should come from her heart, her character, her passions, her strength, her love, et cetera. Suffocate the obsession of the physical self with empathy & encouragement. Be a light for the people you know & the people you don’t. Really think about how your words affect the people who see them or hear them.